Business Relationship…Is It Worth It?
I’ll tell you what…what a heck of a day I just went through. We all have our bad days, but this one could go down as one which requires me to head to anger management class.
Over the years, it’s been pretty easy to use my natural abilities of making others feel at ease and comfortable with their decision making of buying a home, especially first-timers. Not because I’m a good salesman but because of my experiences and depth of knowledge as a certified planner over my career. Adding education to the process enables the buyer to have proper knowledge and helps establish trust in continuation of financing a home. Along the journey of my career, I’ve also developed very loyal partners and business associate relationships as a result of being the professional I am. They are very valuable to me…but the value is in the friendship. You see, I’m the relationship guy. I place people before profit and ensure that others know how much I care about taking good care of them. I surround them in my advisor network with others of the same cloth. In other words, the relationship with people is much more far-reaching than the amount of money I will net on a loan I ever sell. Sometimes this puts me at a disadvantage though. I know what you’re thinking…How could being that guy put you at a disadvantage?
Well, I don’t know if it’s vulnerability or transparency or what…I’ve been taught in my life to be both and as a result, true, meaningful relationships will form. It’s the difference between capturing that one commission vs. knowing if you build the relationship, seven other opportunities will amount from a single person or transaction. My income is a bi-product of that foundation. But have you ever thought that you had a very loyal relationship (partnerships and friendships do often mix and should mix if it’s worth your time!) but then you find out it may be false? Basically I found out today what a negative, critical, cynical, and doubtful person really is and what they look and sound like. It came in the form of a small comment with intent. Privately, I was fighting off my own doubts already based on a couple of other moments I can recall, but pressed forward when they occurred, trying to understand the person. Maybe it could have been a moment and not truly how this person thinks and performs in his own business, or how he feels about me. I tend to look at the positive and the affirmative in most situations. Questioning others, to another, for the sole intent of smearing one’s name, or creating doubt in another relationship that has strength just isn’t great business karma. Heck, it’s not even good life karma. It shows your lack of knowledge, as it did in this case when the person spoke with intent to create doubt. They never spoke the words to me. Instead, the comments of “fees being ridiculous on this loan” were forefront, spoken to a very loyal partner of mine and one that I share a very many happy clients with over the years. Nevermind the buyer’s financial DNA…the less-than-perfect credit score, the 5th home purchase as an investment property, self-employed status, the hard to source personal assets vs. business assets, the buyer chosing to add fees in order to buy-down the interest rate on the loan…I still miraculously got it done after a great many challenges. The fees on the loan were chosen by the buyer as a structure for what was best for his financial DNA. No one else’s. Yet, my integrity was questioned today because a piece of paper showed fees that were above what the commenter thinks is normal. They WERE higher than normal. I was working with a transaction made up of un-normalness! It must mean that I take advantage of buyers and overcharge them, because the best deal must mean that they get NO FEES and a 0% interest rate right? The commenter has no clue about the loan industry or tightness of getting deals to close these days. They breed and foster negativity by spreading propaganda which doesn’t concern them. It shows a very large lack of class, and coming from someone who is a self-appointed leader simply amazes me.
So why did this happen? The best answer I can come up with this evening is the fact that this person chooses to operate his life and business from a price basis. You know, the car salesman? Yet, his fee as a sales agent isn’t questioned…it’s more the norm, an industry standard sort of thing. No one gets to look at his credit score and tell him he’s worth less than 3% because his profile is made up of derogatory information. No one gets to see if he is a profitable agent to determine whether worthy of his total commission. Yet, he doesn’t know the meaning of the word trust. The fees on this loan had nothing to do with what commission I made. It had everything to do with the client DNA I previously mentioned. The client was very happy, his agent was fully involved and informed along the way and although some tight guidelines made us sweat a couple of times, we closed the transaction on time (in fact, would’ve closed days in advance if the buyer was a local resident).
Today, deep down, I know I did right by my client. My client knows I did right by him. My agent knows too and never questions my integrity because of the trust and assuring she receives in return of handling her clients with special care. But also today, I found out the amount of energy I provide, the amount of time I invest, the total commitment to excellence I stand for, the amount of money I spend, and the priority I put on one particular relationship with an individual was all a waste of time and certainly not worth it.
I don’t know what spurns me to write this. I am supposed to live with the virtue of forgiveness but it’s hard for me tonight. I have much to be grateful for in my life, and often I turn the other cheek to such things. Too often, too many people spend their days blaming others or nurturing grudges, or planning retribution. I don’t like it when my integrity is questioned. It’s never happened before…this is all new to me so it has upset me. It doesn’t feel good. But I know this: I have integrity. Men and women of integrity understand intrinsically that theirs is the precious right to hold their heads in the sunlight of truth, unashamed before anyone.
So I will do that instead.
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